Thinker . Artist . Musician |
Mountains Never MoveHope surrounds,Mountains Never Move by purplecuriosity
that never move.
A beautiful woman is standing on a bridge, looking over the side and thinking about jumping off.
A homeless man walks up to her.
She sees the man coming and says, "Go away! There's nothing you can say to change my mind!"
He says, "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it."
"Absolutely not! You're disgusting!", she replies. The man turns and starts walking away.
"Is that all you're going to say? You're not going to try to convince me that life is worth living? Where are you going?"
"I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm!", he says.
What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window
How do you swat 200 flies at one time? Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
I was sitting next to this really hot thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, 'Please don't get an erection, don't get an erection'... but she did.
A guy walks into his daughter's bedroom and sees her masturbating with a cucumber. He says to himself "oh man I was gonna eat that......now it's gonna taste like cucumber"
What's white and twelve inches long?
EDIT: Some more jokes..
Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?
Because if they fell forward they would still be in the boat.